I have a new start,
A new outlook
A new philosophy if you will.
Things just aren't what they used to be.
Life was simple in my youth, days of innocence, ignorance, and bliss in that aforementioned.
The best way to stay alive in this world is to adapt and to re-invent yourself
Thus, in the past few weeks, I been doing alot of soul searching. Alot of wandering, meandering into the darkness of my mind, and pushing myself to limits I have never been to.
I cracked.
My faith in life has been demolished, and my reasoning thrown out the window.
My memory fades, and my morals dissolve into thin air.
Even through my new discoveries, and new beginnings, I still deal with the same old crap. I'm depressed, so much that I break down daily and cry myself to sleep, wondering what I did to deserve such horrible treatment in my life.
I still lie awake at night pondering and fighting off the loneliness that I have come to hold as my own. A security blanket, yet cold, and uninviting.
I pick up the bottle and bring it to my lips and suck the liquid down hoping to ease something I can't put my finger on.
A hole in my ear, although filled, it is only filled with that which I may remove. I have enough holes already. My soul leaks out of my mouth when I talk.
My spirit falls from my face in the tears that I cry
My passion rubs into the keyboard out of my pores
I have enough holes, yet I go and pierce my ear, adding another hole to my body. But what did I lose from this hole, nothing!!!
My hole is symbolic to me, as I have yet to figure out what it means. I don't know the answer.
If this confuses you I am sorry, these are merely my thoughts being written down. I am trying to deal with the weight of the world as usual and am falling over and being crushed.
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